Gift Shopper

I've come to the conclusion that I come from an odd, not-able-to-fit-into-any-demographic type of family. I ran into this issue on Mother's day, and I'm running into it with Father's day as well.

I'm checking out all these cutesy "20 top gifts for Father's Day" lists, and find that none of the items listed are things my father would want. I'm not downplaying the gifts by any mean, I mean, ok so my father wouldn't want them, but that doesn't mean someone else's father wouldn't. (However, I really am not so concerned with whether someone else's dad would like these, because, come on... this is my blog so it's all about me...or at least related in some way.) I tried a few different sources, and different shops, different specialty sites, etc. and I still can't come up with what to get my dad. Ok so there are two gifts that I would LOVE to get for him... but there big $$ items... and so I hesitate.
For example, when my father was "young" (aka not married) he had a couple different mustang cars that he adored. I'm talking in the 60's. When I first got my license and we were looking for a used car for me (although I now see it also served as an excuse for him to get something more fun) we looked at a 69 Mustang convertible. He liked the car, but there were a few issues with the vehicle so he opted no. (I was disappointed, man, would that have been a cool first car!) My dad still has some old pictures of him and his 'stangs...so I'd love to be able to buy him an old one or a new one or something fun for him to drive.
The other thought is a Rototiller... yeah, I know BORING, but his broke and he gave away his old one when he got the now broken newer one. So I did check a few models out, because this would be more feasible than a car, but this still runs around $500-900. Now, I'm not saying my dad isn't worth it, because he certainly is, but I'm not independently wealthy either. Know what I'm saying? If you don't, then lucky you.
I know what your thinking, get Butter bones, hippy Bro and Sister to chip in.... I went down this route before when I bought someone a new computer.... and while the "kids" were supposed to chip in, I never saw a cent. Although that was with my "2nd" family, and I'm pretty sure Butter Bones and Hippy Bro would fork over money. It still seems a bit more like a Christmas present than Father's day... but then again last year I bought him a weed whacker.

Anyway, my original point was that none of the "top" gifts are anything I can imagine my father wanting, nor were they anything my mom would have wanted for mother's day... but aren't these list based on shopping demographics of some sort? Would you think that you could get some good ideas based on these lists? Who buys this stuff? Are there really dad's out there that would appreciate any of the items on these lists? Or is my family a shopping anomaly?

22 DAYS

until I take the plunge.

Not THAT kind of plunge.

This kind of Plunge.

It's not so cold, give me your blanket.

I just packed up the blankets I made for previously mentioned Cyranos' Creature comfort drive which are sewn, knit or crocheted blankets made for donations to animal shelters. I've packed my sewing machine back into it's container and my dining room is a sweat shop no more...

But now Holly's enthusiasm for good causes has rubbed off and I'm thinking about more local shelters/rescues.
I've decided to make a package for "For the Love of Dog", and for that I'm looking for donations of used blankets and towels (or if you're ambitious new/made).
I'm a big fan of Rotti's given that every experience I've ever had with one has been awesome, so it's one of the breeds that is on my list for "When I get my own house". Which by the way... is still a while off... (ahem... you can stop asking now mom.)
If you're interested in donating, drop me an email and I'll send you my location...or if you're local, I'll even pick up.

Random thought

My "single" weekend was busy, more so than I expected, or planned, but it was still nice. I did sew up some blankets, and got out to ride my (pedal) bike on the trail, also completed the case for HG's bike windshield, but no knitting. Somehow I just wasn't motivated there.

The biggest thing for me was my time with my beautiful niece. I am constantly amazed by how spell binding she is, and how much my normally "no kids" mentality feels queasy and un-sure. Don't get me wrong, I love kids. I truly do. I love how free spirited they are, how innocent and hopeful and loving they are. I don't mean how loving they are to their family, but everything. I've been lucky in life to have some terrific experiences with kids, I've had the opportunity to be almost a big sister/mom to some wonderful kids. One family in particular, I was there before the youngest was, and I've been there since. I got to see the excitement when we found a lizard walking up the road, I got to catch frogs, I got to go berry picking, make homemade ice cream, go to the zoo, go swimming, camp out in the living room, etc. All the great things, and some of the bad ones too. I also seem to be a kid magnet, I think because I don't so much care for strangers, kids are easier to trust. Wherever I am, even if I haven't met the kids before, I will typically end up with the kid before the end of the day. And I don't mind it at all. In fact I enjoy it. I enjoy rocking babies, chasing toddlers and tickling the kids until they nearly piss their pants. I've always loved kids, but I've also always loved puppies, kittens, baby animals, new toys, and new cars. I know this. I also know that I am not the most patient person, there are days when my ADD is in over drive and waiting for someone for 5 minutes feels like an entire day.
My indecisiveness with kids also is because the whole 9 month pregnancy and 36 hour labor is completely unappealing to me. I've already stated that if I decide to have kids, I am definitely considering adopting, partially because of the pregnancy issue, but also because I am adopted. I've always known that I was adopted, there wasn't a "talk" when I was 18 that left questions. Trust me, with my family, it was impossible not to know I was adopted. I also feel that part of the issues growing up were because I was adopted, and that scares me too. The main issues would have been there within the family whether or not I was, but I often felt like I was treated differently by one member in particular b/c I wasn't their biological child. That's really neither here nor now, but it's something that stays with me and is especially present when thinking about adopting. If I did adopt, I would want to raise the child with the same love as if they weren't adopted.

When I'm holding Anna, I realize how comfortable it is. It's something I notice with Anna, but not so much with other babies I hold, which is also weird. When I talk to butter bones & Ginga' about Anna, her medical issues, feeding whatever, I feel like "I can do this, I could be here". I don't know if it's simply because it's the first baby addition to our family, if it's because it's my favorite couple's baby, or what. I enjoy my visit with mom, dad & baby, but find myself contemplating kids while I drive home. I'm not sure yet if I should be concerned. I'm not going to run out and buy diapers, I am not going to start applying at the adoption agencies, nor am I going to stop using birth control. I'm just trying to get the thoughts out so maybe I can understand 'em.
I think being a full time parent scares me. I've played the parent roll before, but it has always been a temporary thing- knowing that in a week, month or whatever time line, I'd have my life back, or that mom & dad could deal with whatever issue when they got back. I'm not sure that I'm cut out to be a full time parent. To have to deal with the good and bad, to know that I'm "there" until the kid is an adult, and to know that I can't call the parent and yell "Come get your kid, it's driving me nuts." That terrifies me.
The potential to end up being a single mom scares the hell out of me. The possibility of the child suffering from medical ailments worst than a blister, or having the child witness me suffering some ailment, all those things scare me.
I'm scared of being a bad parent, of leaving the kid with some huge emotional scar from me not understanding, or from me not being there enough.
I'm also afraid that I'll regret the choice to not have kids. I'm afraid 15 years down the road I'll have wished I had had children.
I don't know. I'm looking for a definitive answer, but there isn't one.

Single...I'm single....

But only metaphorically. HG has left for the weekend on his "fishing trip". I say "fishing trip" with some sarcasm as he may cast out a few times, but typically it's more about guy time, drinking, a big fire and heckling the "rookie".

So... I am by myself for the weekend... well with exception of Jinx, my convinced he's a dog and a Siamese mix cat. And I (with my head down in shame) have to say that my plans for the weekend are fairly lame.

Drinks with a friend Friday night (her husband is on the "fishing trip" as well)
I vowed to sew up some blankets for a fellow blogger's Cyrano's creature comfort drive
I've got a back log of books that I've been meaning to read
I've got a back log of work that I'm only partially considering bring home
I have a yarn store outing with a local knitter
I want to hit the rail trail with my bike that hasn't been out yet this season
I want to visit with my niece
I want to put photos in an actual album instead collecting dust in a box
I'd like to finish baby gumpa's sweater
I promised HG (when he bought his bike) I would sew a padded case to store his windshield in

So, as you see... nothing really that exciting. I've come to the stark realization that I am "old".
It used to be, BID :-), that I would have endless plans set, often leaving little time between activities, for an entire weekend. Now, I usually have a couple "dates" set but really just go with "whatever".
Tonight I am cooking some pasta for dinner, curling up with either some knitting or a book and relaxing. I can't wait.

Flying High

Soon.
I recently re-scheduled our skydiving excursion, and the excitement is overwhelming! June 16th I'm (tandem) jumping out of a perfectly good air plane for the pure adrenaline of it! HG, myself and few close friends are headed to Maine for that weekend, and I can't tell you how much I wish it were this weekend. Did I mention heights make me nervous? Yeah, so that aught to be interesting.
I was talking about this with a pal yesterday, who is terrified of heights and flying makes him nervous. His comment to me was, "Why?" followed up by "Out of a perfectly good airplane?" and "My life isn't bad enough for me to want to jump out of a plane" and of course "Are you going thru a early mid life crisis?",and "Are you on drugs? Maybe you should be". It was all too funny. After convincing him that I was neither on drugs, crazy or going thru a life crisis, his response was, "You are going to leave your money to me, right?"

June 16th... I'm counting down the days . (43)